Memoirs of a Ah Beng Wannabe.

When you were young, did you ever have a dream of what you want to be when you grow up? Perhaps you wanted to be a doctor, save some lives, a lawyer to earn megabucks. I was like every other kid; I wanted to be a Gundam pilot which isn’t really possible since Gundam isn’t even invented yet. Damn you Japanese anime for ruining my childhood dreams.

When I got older, and started to take notice of girls, it was quite amazing to me how some dudes managed to get a girlfriend with no other reasons beside him being a Beng. Why is it so amazing about that is because it is amazingly stupid, as the Bengs are not necessary very handsome (some are handsome ) In fact, it is rather safe to say that some of them only have a face a mother would love. Character wise, they are not necessary what you considered as great material too.

I monitored the situation for the past few years and came to this conclusion. That to get the girls of your dreams，you would have to become a Beng. Not that you go around looking for fights, but it is more of a style, a factor, a feeling that only an ah Beng can give.

I know that a lot of wonderful ladies will tend to disagree with me, in fact, all the ladies I asked for their opinions claims that they hate ah Bengs. However, at one point or another, they definitely like an ah Beng looking guy before. Why is that so? That is because since the beginning when god created women, Adam had been confused by Eve as Eve didn’t even know what she wants. Women just have a soft spot for a ah beng looking dude, who has an odor of bad boy or excitement around him. I don’t know. Women always seek a perfect man, but if you give them a perfect man, they would find him boring. To them, their man is like a jigsaw puzzle, it isn’t fun if it is complete.

And on my Ah Beng theory, it is also beneficial for normal guys to become a Beng for some very good reason. For example, there are two guys, A and B. A and B are totally the same in characters and they both are on the same level if you have to gauge their looks. However, B looks like a Beng in dressing style. And you know that girls hate Ah Bengs right? This is how it works out, imagine if both A and B are both gentlemen, helping a girl open doors etc. A girl wouldn’t be impressed with dude A as he is doing what a normal guy would have done, but if dude B did it, she would certainly be incredibly impressed as who would have expected a Beng to be such a gentleman, So in her eyes, the level of improvement of guy B raises much more than A.

However, nor everybody can be a Beng, it is only a few selected individuals that could become a real Beng, for others like me, no matter how we emulate the style of a Ah Beng, it will be a cold day in hell before we have any success.

Woe is me; my dream of being a Metrosexual Ah Beng won’t come true in this lifetime.