.

I wonder if I would ever be able to express my feelings in words.

I remember that I had two friends, who at some point in their lives, had a bad breakup. They were constantly in agony. I asked them, if the relationship was worth it, as the other party wasn't worth their agony. Their reply was that even if your heart was broken at this time, they rather have their heart broken, and loved before, than never to know love at all. I finally understand what they were talking about today.

I always felt that I was a guy who is able to keep his own emotions in check, the one was is constantly "steady". I was wrong after all, as I am still only human. The agony, is hard to tolerate for long. The worst part of everything that went wrong is perhaps the most tragic reason of all. There wasn't any reason, nor quarrels. At the end of the day, if it ended, I wouldn't mind, if that I had a reason. Now, there will forever be a part of me left empty, as there isn't any closure. Maybe one day it will fill up slowly, but markings will forever be there.

If the relationship ended with one of us hating another, perhaps the pain would be easier to tolerate. It ended, with only sadness now, and sadness it would forever be.

Thanks for teaching me how to laugh,
Thanks for teaching me how to cry,
Thanks for making me worry hard,
and thanks for teaching me about love.

Two Tall Tales

1) About a cross dresser who literally falls in love with his own image as a girl

2) About a world where the remaining days of your lives can be purchased or sold on the market like gold.

Slum

I need to get out of the slum asap. Life has been strange these few days, a cocktail of cigs, liquor, work, exercise to occupy my time to the brim. I can't stand being alone for extended period of life unlike the past.

My body is almost at it's limit at the way I am pushing it.

Thank god for friends, or Allah, or Buddha or whomever up there.

I am actually looking forward to the start of my work.

She is gone.

She's gone,
Out of my life.
I was wrong,
I can't live without her love.
In my life
There's just an empty space.
All my dreams are lost.