Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Sorrow is better than laughter,
ALthough it may sadden your face,
but it sharpens your understanding.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

A random tale.

How long had it been since their plane had an engine failure and was forced to land in the Gobi desert? Dave had no idea, he stopped counting when it was over a week, and gotten too depressing for him to continue doing so. Of their plane of 28 passengers, less than 10 had survived the botched landing. Only Dave, his wife Celeste, an old couple that had long retired and a newly orphaned 9 year old boy named Jimmy were lucky enough to escape from the fumes. It was already a miracle that the kid managed to have the sense to follow them through the fumes when he discovered that his mother was unconscious. Initially, the boy wanted to seek help from them to save his mother, but seconds after they got out of the plane, a series of explosions rocked the plane, and they had to forcefully drag the kid away from the burning wreckage. They managed to find a huge rock that had a hole in it for shelter, which was lucky for them, or else they would not survive perhaps, 3 days.

The next day, Dave had to make his way back to the wreckage in order to salvage some food and water for them to survive as long as possible. He went there alone, as he was the least hurt, and maybe had only a couple of fractured ribs compared to the rest of them. The smell of human flesh burning assaulted his nostrils, and everywhere was the remains of what had been the passengers of Flight 907. He noticed with discomfort at the amount of carrion birds around that area, having a feast of their life. After finding a haversack to carry all the food he found, he saw the burned out remains of a little girl, holding on to a small cartoony hello kitty bag. A prickle of tears was forming at the side of his eyes, as he remembered this was the same girl, that is no more than 6 years old, with her hair tied in pigtails that was running around the aircraft, offering everyone a stick of pink colour pocky from her bag.. Grimly, he set upon his task of taking her bag from her shriveled charcoal hands that was small, but forever locked in a embrace with her favourite bag. He took the remaining pocky packets, and started to curse his task and himself, and after reliving other corpse of usable stuff, he started to dig with a makeshift shovel of the airplane wing. He dug for hours, not stopping for a drink till he was certain that the hole was big enough to cover up all the bodies from the carrion birds.

Celeste wasn’t doing so badly. Except for the fact that her leg got broken and she was hurting too much to move, and the old couple were hurt the most badly. Peter and Mary were heading on their 2nd honeymoon when they took this ill-fated flight, and when they escaped the burning wreckage of the plane, Peter felt a piercing pain in just below his ribs. He wasn’t too badly stunned by the 9cm long glass halfway piercing through his belly,as he was more concerned with his wife of the past 50 years, whose head was bleeding badly, and losing consciousness as fast as she is losing blood from various open wounds. Peter wasn’t optimistic about her survival as he knew back from his days an army medic in the 2nd world war that his wife was a goner if she wasn’t send to the hospital in a day or two.

He was right; she died the day after the crash, and not before opening her eyes for one last time. They had a final hug, a moment of their last kiss, and as he held her hands, he feels her finger going limp, and his tears flowing down his cheek. He was almost holding her for an hour, when Dave returned. Both of them buried his wife, with her wedding ring still on her hands. The medical supplies Dave brought back with him wasn’t much, but he had what was vital to Peter. He had sleeping pills.
That night, when everyone was sleeping, Peter swallowed 30 sleeping pills. As he feels the drowsiness overcoming him, he saw his dear wife Mary, no longer looking old, but looking young and pretty again, her arms wide open with light enveloping her whole body, walking towards him to embrace him.

He held her tightly and left with her. He will never let her go away alone again. The next day, Celeste was the first to wake up, and saw the body of Peter hugging the mound of sand they covered his wife with, and knew that he is already gone. Her tortured sobbing woke the rest of them up, and together they mourned the old man that they just knew a couple of days ago, but as a result of their unusual circumstances, they bonded with him just like old friends would.

End of Part 1

Monday, March 17, 2008

Ah,interesting thing I received in my email

1 Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 6're a HOE)<----I have no idea about this,I never have friends that are sluts,or perhaps I am just unfortunate/or fortunate enough to not know any sluts.If you know a slut that you think that I would like to know,you can ask her to call me,toll-free at this number,1900-Alvinchua.Thanks!

2 Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.<-------- :( Painfully obviously true

3 Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.<------Yeah balls!A girl smiling sweetly is sweeter than chocolate anyday.

4 Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him <----very true too,I have came across a number of great idiots,and me,myself,and my alter-personility is included.

5 Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.<--------I hate it,espcially if the person I like knew that I like her.It doesn't help when all her ex-bfs are all bastards.But girls being girls get attracted to assholes like moth to a burning flame.

6 Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.<------ mmhmm,I think this goes both ways,girls need to be reassured too.

7 Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.<-----This one I am still neutral about it,I tend to think that a relationship doesn't mean that one cannot have good friends of the opposite gender,unless it is very obvious that the dude is interested in your gf,things is going to get messy when the shit hits the fan.

8 Guys get jealous easily.<------------Quite true,but Guys like to act indifferent but inside,they are burning up faster than butter melting in hot sun.

9 Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
<-----Yeah,definately true,but guys being guys love to go for that macho shit.Bor pian,since we are guys,we have to be the pillar of support in the relationship,if we are an emotional wreck,how can we be there for the girls?We got to be strong,cause that is the mark of all great men.

10 Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.<------------Wah piang eh,this is freaking true.This is one heck of a way to torture us guys you know,sometimes guys aren't that smart as you think they are.We do not have telephathy.

11 Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.<--------Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhh,sometimes you don't even know what the fug are you talking about.

12 A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.<---Part of the act,not all the girls the guy teases is the girls he likes,but you can be sure he will tease the girl he like in a haphazard way.Kinda like a baby elephant taking his first steps.

13 Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.<---A real man not only loves you,he wants to protect you no matter what,in whatever situation,but I think that alot of women are capable of great love too.I remember a certain case here,about a china guy who was captured by the chinese army,as he have a kid already,and his wife was pregnant again,they were trying to force him to disclose where his wife is,and going to make her have a abortion.He didn't sing,no matter what they did to him,beatings etc,and in the end,they castrated him by ripping his privates off.He died from bleeding without uttering a single thing,thus losing his own life,but protecting his wife and kids.

14 Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.<------Sometimes I think for days even,even when years after an incident had happened,I could still be thinking over what might or may not have happened.

15 Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.<------mmhmm,I tend to think otherwise here,it is just that sometimes the girls have no logic at all,and we need another person without logic to be able to understand her.It takes a confused person to know another confused person.A girl to know a girl.

16 When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."<---------Not so sure about this,I think girls are the same too.But perhaps when a dude went so far to ask you to leave him alone,he just want to protect you from whatever troubles he is facing.

17 If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.<---Yeap,wake up and listen sometimes please,even to jokers that suddenly become as serious as if they are at a funeral.

18 If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.<-----Yeah,the lengths we take to avoid a uncomfortable situation.You won't like it if you are sitting on a bed of pins right,that is what it felt like.To smile when your heart is being smashed to pieces by a hammer is actually remarkably hard.It is easier to wrestle a Phython as I know that feeling.

19 When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.<----mmhmm,I think I prefer them to be normal and humble,not to think that they are the most beautiful creatures to ever grace the earth since the unicorn was found.But,when a guy sincerly tells you from his heart that he thinks you are beautiful,he probably isn't lying,it is up to you to filter to silver-tongue snakes from the truefull.Ps.I probably joke around quite alot of times,saying that the girls around me are all very pretty,and girls may not take it too seriously.But true beauty could be referring to your character and not necessary appreances,and perhaps,I really meant what I say,word for word.Unless you know that your character totally sucks,and you look like a wild boar in a skirt,you should know it in your heart if I am lying or telling the truth.

20 When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.<-----Okay,I know alot of girls are going to think "What a crocker of shit this is,he is definately thinking about sex,the lusty toad!".Well,truth is,yeah,sometimes we do think of something like that now and then,but if we don't,we are not really guys right?But most of the times,we are just thinking how cute you are,we don't think that kind of thoughts with girls we are around,but only when a sex siren that looks like Jessica Alba walk pass us.Remember.95% of the time,it is your smile,your eyes,your hair,your lips we are looking at.And it is rather possible that we are just daydreaming at random,and totally innocent except of the fact we are looking at your directing when our brains shut down.

21 Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.<----yeah of course,I have never seen a girl that can punch harder than me,and who would like a gorilla?Sadly,I seldom come across girls that cook better than me,not due to the fact that I am a great cook.Infact,my stuff is just borderline edible,it is just that the girls now normally can't cook.Most guys I know are better cooks,but occassionally I come across a guy that can screw up maggie mee every single time.Just that I come across more girls that screw up cooking only.

22 A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.<----Yeah,but we love playing the macho strong man role.I think you girls would prefer this than a emotional wreck that requires you to pacify him every 2 mins.

23 Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.<---Ah,the ice queen routine,strike fear to me not unlike running out of good food at home.

24 Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.<-----Yeah,We are trying to figure out how their brains work,given another 5327931 years,we may crack the code!

25 Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.<----Harsh but true,but sometimes we can't blame the girl,the guys insist on trying all the same,if they think the girl worth the effort.

26 If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.<-----When you ask me in 5327931 years,I will tell you if this sentence here is true.I am still wondering.

27 Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.<------Dammit,bloody true.I am fortunate enough to be enbroiled in this situation before.It is due to the fact that perhaps,you just want to know,why she thinks that way,and the more you learn about her,the more attracted you get.Perhaps this is similar to the "bad boys attract girls" just want to know everything about them,and be able to make them smile happily,no matter what is the cost to you.

28 When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible<---Yeah,This is totally true,but many times,nobody knows of his sacrifices,just that he himself knows about it.Even another min chatting with you on the phone,msn,or outside,no matter how tired he is from work,school,everything,another min with you is worth the hour spend waiting for you.

Of course the above stuff is only my views alone,they could be shared by some of the guys,or some people may totally disagree with what I stated.But for me at least,I like to think that they are 100% true.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

If your mum and me were drowning,who would you save first?

If your mum and me were drowning,who would you save first? This is the question every single guy out there fears the most from his girlfriend. There is no really right or wrong answer.You can't say that you will ignore your mum totally just to save her,cause that would mean that you are a bloody callous bastard who does not care for own mother who work so hard to bring him up.

I have pondered about this question on behalf of my fellow men everywhere,and I am pleased to bring you some answer that I deemed were enough to satisfied most girls.

1)I am going to save both of you,even if it cause me my life,cause both of you are just too dear for me to live without either one of you. <---When saying this,please be as stern as possible,and for best effect,have a couple of tears coming out,pinch yourself if you must to make your eyes water.

2)I will save whoever is closer to me.<-----this is very risky,but it works well if you are studying economics or buisness.

3)I will save whoever weight the least.<---------For the love of god,if you use this,you are a bloody idiot,but if you think she is abit too fat,and want to her to lose weight,this could be a great idea to kill 2 birds with one stone,unless she manages to kill you first.

4)I will only save my wife,before I save my mum.<-----This question requires skill to answer.Why?Cause you didn't say that you will save her first,you are saying that you will put your wife infront of your mum,but that also means that you will save your mum before your gf.If she complains,just tell her that,she just have to marry you in order for you to save her first.

5)bor pian,say you can't swim lor........................

6)From buddy neo,whose excellent suggestion was to die with both of them,as both of em are too important to him.Once again,if you can force some tears out for effect,it would be perfect.

I hope I managed to solve this question for most of my buddies out there,if it backfires,don't kill me please.

Questions to ponder

IF a person is blind from birth,and have never seen before anything in his or her life,is she able to understand beauty?Even if she is one of the prettiest woman in the world,how can she understand her own beauty even if everybody praise her?

If a person try his or her best to do something,even when we know their effort is futile,but even so,they refused to give up,do we admire them for their spirit,or do we laugh at them for being stupid?

Sometimes in life I wonder,why must we try so damn hard to prove ourselves,what for?If in the end we can't be happy with what we achieved,it is still the same old crap again.

But if we don't try our best,we may as well give up on life itself.

So never give up till the fat lady sings.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Guidelines to become a real man

If you are a frequent reader of this blog,you will remember that one of my objectives of this year is to become a man of men.Hench,I decided to come out with a set of guildlines for myself and other aspiring dudes,namely my pal Kelvin Cheng Xin De.

1)A man must not break his promise to another girl no matter what,he must try his hardest to fufill his obligations to the lady unless there is an emergency or something.One acceptable reason is that his house is on fire,and he have to run home to save his family and his pet.

2)A man must never ever,I mean,ever break a woman's heart under any circumstances.It is not ethical.It ain't right.

3)A man must never smoke infront of any woman,or children,or old people.If he is a smoker,he must smoke in a corner away from them.If the woman is a smoker,this rule can be ignored,but preferably not.

4)A man must be strong,for he must not only protect himself,he carries the burden of protecting those he love around him.

5)A man must never betray his friends,his buddies no matter what,nor try to steal from his buddies,their girlfriends.Such a man,is someone not worth knowing,cause for his own selfishness,he destroy his friend's happiness.

6)A man must learn how to cook,as well as possible,in order to cook for his future gf,as now most girls can't cook at all.This rule is for practical reasons really.

7)A man must always give up his seat to others that require it more,like old people,pregnant woman,crippled young boys reason is that a pregnant woman is 2 person,while you are only one person.Do the maths. situations when the woman is kinda fat and pudgy,and you have no idea if she is pregnant or just very fat,you must try your best to pretend very well and give up your seat.If there is a chance that you may offend her instead,it is wiser to sit in this situation.

8)A man must always go to the aid of a damsel in distress no matter what,even if it is 2 or 3 am at night.It is your duty.Too bad for you that you are born a man.

9)A man MUST NEVER EVER in whatever situation,use physical force on a woman.This is the worse of the lot.I deplore this sort of behavior.

10)A real man,must never ever wear a scarf in singapore.Cause if you does so,you are definately a homosexual.Refer to the post below on how to earn money if you belong to the scarf wearing catergory.

11)A man will try his best for a woman he love no matter what.Even if that requires him to be extremely stupid,he has no choe,cause love is a mark of stupidity anyway.

Even if the woman requires him to give up on baw kwa,or chocolates.or anything else,he should do what she requires of him,for his love.That is why I say all men are dumb.

If you peeps have anything to add to the list,feel free to let me know.

Friday, March 7, 2008

The money post

In recent times,I have been thinking rather carefully on what I am going to do with my future.Here I am studying a degree,for what purpose?It took me a very long period to conclude that the reason why I am studying,is to achieve more wealth for the future.It is therefore my objective to get as much cash as possible before my retirement and I want to retire early,meaning that I must have lots of cash in the fastest time possible.

After considering my other options beside studying and becoming president of a bank of something,a process which will definately take more than 10 years,I discover 3 excellent methods of garnering oddles of moolah.

1)Rob a bank
2)Strike lottery.

Since I do not want to go against the law,and striking lottery has a chance of 1 in 8 million,I can only look to my 3rd method,which will be the most effective.......

3)I got to seduce micheal Jackson and force him to molest me so I can sue his pants off(no pun intended)

<<<---You see him in this picture,his eye filled with desire for tender,succulent,young strapping boys.....

<<----He beckons you to come forward To first find Wacko Jacko, we must first head to Neverland when he was last seen......

However,there is great danger due to the fact that neverland is call neverland as once you go never come out. Or at least,come out unmolested.

<<<-----This comic describes the ordeal and the moral dillema I am about to face,the biggest decision of my life.Do I let him molest me for 20 million US,or do I reach over and pull his nose off?

Alas................I discovered a very unfortunately loophole in my elaborate scheme,I have to be under the age of 10 first,before Jacko will even look at me,and I have not been 10 yrs old for a damn long time already.

<----------This Post has been mark with a seal of approval by pedobear. Hmmmmm,if all else fails.............I can still sue him,for not sexually abusing me,leading to me becoming depressed that I wasn't abused as I was overage.I am going to sue him for discrimmination.
Wish me luck!I will treat you all Ice cream and baw kwa with my new found millions!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The secret of weight loss

Haha, all my friends should know which kid I am right? The fat boy with specs.Super retro pic,kudos to Zhenglian for getting it.

Ah,the journey down the route of weight loss is a hard one.All of people have been asking me how I achieved it.

<<<-------------This is my secret! Eat one pill after each meal three times daily!
However,beware of the side effects......................

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

A really whinny post

Disclaimer: This post will totally be about stuff that really pisses me off,so if you can take it,piss off too,thanks.

Well.....first of all,I am extremely hungry when composing this post,and extremely sleepy too.But to the heck with it.

First thing I am super pissed off with is why the heck does good tasty food always does great damage to your health? Food like bbq chicken wing, bbq pork, cheesecake, luncheon meat, chocolate fondue etc. It makes one so mad that one become as pissed off as a chicken squabbling over the last grain of corn with other chickens.

actually,scrape that thing above.I think having just a sparse meal and less than 3 hrs sleep in the last 24 hrs is doing alot to my emotional state.

Infact,I feel like I am having my pms mood now,which is not really the political correct thing to say due to the fact that
1)I am not female
2)I don't look like a girl
3)I am probably going to piss off all the girls that read my blog.

But this is true,I suddenly feel a sense of enlightenment in my pms mood state,no wonder girls can use pms as an excuse! It is really a very delicate yet emotional moment in my life when I feel like destroying everything around me,and consume every bit of chocolate that I can find,cept i can't find any.

I can't think straight at all.I feel like butter spread over too much bread.Spread too thinly.

Maybe it is the lack of sleep that lead to a couple of really stupid decisions tonight.I frankly regretted being so bloody hasty without thinking straight,but I never regretted being frank. (I know this part is confusing,but bear with me,I got pms now,and I got a right to be confused)

I sincerly hope that whatever damage I did today would be forgiven on the account of me having really bad pms.If you received any sms or msn message that seems to be written rather hastily,forgive my stupidity.

Damn the PMS.

The perfect smile

A face to brighten up your day

The peeeeerfect jap egg tamago

Weiner I fried in very "healthy" olive oil
Combination makes a great hearty breakfast for champions