Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My gayest post to date.

Ah,this xmas,I decided to start on my greatest cooking project to date.That is to bake some peanut butter cookies for my friends and family.Unfortunately,due to some technical errors,I wasn't able to produce enough cookies to give to everyone.

But have no fear people,after my intial batch of cookies went out to the guinea pigs,I will bake more batches in the near future to provide em to the masses.

The stuff I used are all pretty standard stuff,peanut butter,crushed pistacho nuts,butter,flour,baking soda,vanilla etc.

The peanut butter and the butter here ensures that the cookies will be loaded with healthy calories to bring you through your day!

Intially,the mixture looks alot like crap,alot of it being smashed up to a pulp.But thankfully,it looks a hell lot better later.

To be put in the fridge first.

The first batch of cookies in the oven.

The same batch of cookies as above.they look as black as a my mum's face when she discovered I skip tution to go play in the past.

With experience from the last batch,the new batch looks a hell lot better.

Looks darn pretty doesn't it?

I have to tell you guys that whoever get a stomachache from eating them,do not bother to try to sue me,I got no money for you anyway.If you didn't received any cookies from this batch,that doesn't mean that I don't like you,it is just that I wanted to make sure the cookies were safe before baking a new batch for you to consume em.

And for those that put on weight,please refer to those previous posts below,I hope they help.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Food Review - Cookies

Ah,time for another review by me.Today review will be about chocolate chip cookies,which I love and hate at the same time.Love it for the taste,hate it for perhaps its calories,but who gives a damn anyway about getting fat if you see the jar of delicious crumbly cookies?
Firstly,lets talk about the presentation of the cookies.They were kept in a transparent bottle with a vivid red ribbon round it.This picture you see,the ribbon is tied by me after I stole from the cookie jar,so be assured when the jar was first presented,it was totally different.It looks like 10 times better.And it is important to note that I am clumsy and have failed art all the time.

Tastewise,the cookies were fantastic,they were so good that I resented sharing it with others.But no choice,since I am a good man.....bor pian.Look closely at the picture I took with my lousy camera phone.You can see the chocolate chips and the edge of the cookie is browned to the right colour.The texture in your mouth is great.It crumbles,dissolves,but still mantain a crunch to it.The taste of the cookies were buttery,sweet,and combo with the choco chips in them,gave me a "Oh my god,I died and went to heaven" kinda feeling.The aftertaste after the cookie is long gone still make us smack our lips in anticipation for the next cookie.
The passion of the chef slaving over the baking pan almost bring tears to my eyes.( abit exaggerated here )Infact the cookies were so great,I stole the rest of em home for my own consumption.

Presentation : 5/5
Taste : 5/5
Price : Priceless

Overall, the cookies should get 5/5,but as nothing is perfect,I am giving it only a 4.75/5 as the biggest problem with it is that you can't get enough of it.They leave you desiring more cookies.
Ah,so dear ladies and gentlemen,I guess many of you are already wondering where can you get such excellent cookies.Unfortunately,they were handmade and only a few selected individuals were lucky enough to consume it.

Kudos to the chef.They were divinely good

Friday, December 14, 2007

Random stuff that pop into my head

Random stuff 1

Sometimes when taking a bus or mrt, you see pregnant ladies or old folks, if is rather fucked up to see everyone looking away or pretending to sleep. And the men in uniform, do not necessary give the seats to those that required it the most also. Just get your fugging ass away and give up your seats, you are only a single person, she is two person.

1 < 2 <---- So if you used to pretend to be sleeping, time for a wake up call.

Randome stuff 2

I was lucky or unlucky enough to stop 2 women from being beaten up by their husband/bf on two seperate occasions.

In the first situation, I was downstairs at the right moment to stop a drunk man continue using his gf head as a drum stick on her car. I become a police witness for her.

In the 2nd situation, I went downstairs to stop the abuse of a woman by her husband. I stay on the 12th storey, and they stay on the 2nd. It is obvious how bad it was.

In both situations, there are a couple of similarities. I was the only one there and was threatened with physical body harm. And as I narrate what happened to my friends, they stated that they would not have done what I did, and I was both stupid, rash, and busybody. I guess they were right about that.

But I still have to explain myself here. Imagine that it wasn't a woman being abused by her spouse, instead, she was being raped/robbed etc by some son of the bitch. You want that on my conscience for the rest of my life? Which guy that walks away from something that you have the ability to stop, I don't think much of you.

What if it is your mum/gf/spouse being robbed or worse at the moment? Would you wish that a busybody would be there to stop it? Think people, think. If you really can't do anything about it, at least call the cops.

I don't know, maybe I am just a naive righteous prick that sees the world through rose-tinted glasses.

The grand experiment

Ah,due to extreme boredom, I decided on an experiment.

If 500 crunches a day will get you the abs you desire in 10 days. I have been eating considerablely lesser for the past 2 days, and each day I did 500 crunches.

Till now, all I am getting is hunger pangs and a pain in my abs whenever I cough. Hopefully, I can endure and survive this 10 days of hell. Freak, if the experiment fails, this mean that I am screwed.

If target is achieved, I will celebrate by eating chocolates. If I fail miserablely, I will console myself by having some sympathy chocolates.

day 1 : feel like crap.
day 2: feel like crap * 2
day 3: feel like crap * 3 plus wondering if I gonna survive the next 7 days.
day 4: feel like crap * 4 + working on this day + fever = 3 hit combo almost ko me

Thursday, December 13, 2007

How to lose weight for dummies?

Ah, recently, a bunch of my friends both male and female are complaining that they are too fat, and need to lose some weight. Inspired by them, I will now
write about weight loss in my blog, hoping that ladies and gentlemen, you guys can achieve your desired targets. Ah the irony of it all, weight loss in a
food blog.

Well peeps who have know me from the past, will always remember me as this bubbly superbly chubby cute bespectacled young guy. Well, now that I have grown up,
I still am the same guy, but trying to change the chubby to fit. Throughout my life, I tested many of the weight loss on myself (not all), the ever-so-unwilling
Guinea pig, and for the first time ever, the public and my friends can view em for their own pleasure!

1)Be a hero (or heroine), extract 4 wisdom tooth at the same time. Every morning , you will be full, as the blood flow from the sugery will seep to your
throat. Disgusting iron copper taste of your own decomposing blood turns you off from a normal meal. Anyway, even if you want to eat, it is damn hard.

Good for around 5kg or so.

2)Weight-loss pills, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. But one thing I can confirm with you all, it is gonna burn a freaking hole in your pockets
and it ain't healthy at all. You get irritated and pissed off with others, and you may get constipation and cannot pang sai.

Good for a few kgs, but mostly water fats. I seriously recommend not to use this method at all. Totally.

3)The aktins diet. Eat more meat and vegetables, and skip the carbs. This method in my opinion totally suck ass. It screws your mood up, and eating meat all
day long can't be good for your Pang Sai routine. check for bad breath also. Instead, I recommend you to eat less rice, not totally skip it and go for
grained breads instead of the normal white ones.

Good for a couple of kgs I guess.

4)The amputation method. Cut off your arm, or leg.

Good for maybe 10 kgs?

5)The best and the last method of all. 4 words. "Eat less, exercise more". It is that simple. You don't have to rely on any miracle drug or something. Just
eat less, exercise more. Drink 8 cups of plain water a day. This method is the simpliest, yet still the hardest. Cause it depends on how much you want to
do it. You can tell yourself you want to get 6 pack, yet for the past few months, you did no crunches at all. I also want to strike toto every weekend.
Go out don't drink soft drinks, drink green tea or plain water.
And if you don't suck at cooking, trying making your own stuff to eat. You can control how much oil and the stuff you eat etc.

Good for ____ kgs. (fill in the blanks yourselves)

Are you Polar Bear enough?

If you don't want to look like a polar bear, you got to set out to achieve your goals.

Gay lord mok with eyes censored

But, that aside, a great man, Mok, once told me this "If you don't gain weight,how will you lose weight?". When he said this to me, I was so impressed with
his words that it became my righteous path in keeping fit and eating happily at the same time. Thus.....I still eat chocolates. But I don't eat tibits lar.

Pretty lady who loves to crap
(chio bu is dun pang sai one - courtesy from hardwarezone forums)

Also, inspired by another great lady Laura, it is wise to Pang Sai at least 2 or 3 times per day. Pang Sai is good! Eat more fruits! And vegetables for fibre. Constipation away, and move with the flow!

Disclaimer : Yadda yadda, if you die or suffer any emotional or physical damages using my methods, this disclaimer is to tell you. it isn't my fault you are dumb or suay, so paiseh lor.

Last but not least, no Gaylords, pretty girls, or polar bear were harmed in the name of research for this blog.